...not in the depressing, dark way. just wish i could go back for a minute. i miss the ruffled panties and the matching ruffled socks. the popsicles in the backyard with willy while we played indians or climbed in the tree fort. i miss my mommy blow drying my hair after a minor meltdown. or planting a pear tree with my daddy and watching it grow.
all these things that i thought were forever i have begun to miss more than imaginable. i cant wait to start a family and give these memories to my children. cant wait to have a home and feel a security i have never known before with austen. but for right now i am in a mist of uncertainty. where will i be in a year? who will be close to me? it is a hard reality to realize that the friends i consider family will always be spread out and no longer clustered at 352. it is hard to wrap my head around the fact that one year ago today i finished college. i will never have a summer again. i will never have to study for finals. it is funny to me that i absolutely hated finals and could never study for the life of me but now, as a watch the students order their venti quad shot lattes and open their notebooks, i am jealous. i envy the act of absorbing knowledge. of obtaining new information.
it is funny how life all of a sudden smacks you in the face. i dont regret a single thing that has happened to me and i love my life as of right now... but i cant wait for what is to come. to know what it will feel like to not be so lost and confused.
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my thoughts exactly. you'll get there. whereever that is ;) lov you
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